not being able to get back on track

It’s already October and I haven’t gotten anything done that I wanted. I promised myself as soon as school started I’d go back to the gym. What do you think really happened?

My day-to-day now consists of counting down the minutes until I can go home and lay in my bed. I just feel tired. Every single day. No matter the amount of sleep I get, 8 hours, or 6 hours, nothing works.

Whenever I have a moment of free time all I want to do is rest. I feel guilty getting to rest. My to-do list grows and grows while nothing on it gets crossed off.

I have 3 part-time jobs and am a full-time student so my free time is filled with either homework, resting, or making food. You would not believe how long it takes to make a simple dinner, don’t get me started on the cleanup.

Going to the gym and cleaning up the house are not at the top of my to-do list. They should be because it would help my mental and physical health but after I have gotten home from work/school, made and cleaned up after dinner I don’t really want to go to the gym workout come home, shower, and then do my homework.

However, I have to remind myself and want to remind you that rest is not something you should feel guilty for. It is something that was meant to happen. It was something to help distract us from the stress of our everyday life, a place where all of those things go away until we’re ready for them again.

If you don’t feel upset with your body, and I mean YOU not what you think society wants from you then don’t work out if you don’t want to. If you don’t feel like cleaning your house/room that day then don’t. One day will not make that much of a difference. Don’t let others decide if you should rest or not. It is your life and only yours. To me, resting is something that has the power to completely change your life. It’s a space for you and just for you.

Now go and rest and feel pleasure in it. YOU DESERVE IT.

See you soon,

Emma :)